Harry Potter and the magical Multicorn
by MidnightGremlin
Summary: It's only R for extreme stupidity, and well, swears and Death, but r/r, It makes me happy


This story is dedicated to my little sister Kerry. Whose insanity lead to it's creation. I own the  
plot, but the magnificent JK owns the rest.....damn her and all of her goodness.  
  
The Magical Midnight Gremlin  
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HARRY POTTER AND THE MAGICAL MULTI-CORN  
  
"Yes, I know we're not supposed to, but, I swear I saw something weird....."  
  
"I doubt that you saw anything. Did you even have your glasses on??"  
  
"Shut it Herm. If Harry says he saw something, he saw something"  
  
The three of them walked quietly across the grounds in the dead of night. It was cold and the air  
held a sense of foreboding in the somber night. All was quite. Fang couldn't be heard from  
Hagrid's hut. No lights were on in the castle. All was silent. Good time for prowling the  
grounds when one supposed to, yet something just wasn't right.  
  
"Harry I'm cold."  
  
"Shut it Herm" Ron said more irritably then Harry had ever heard him say. None of them wanted  
to get up in the dead of night to go on a hunt for something that Harry had seen during the  
bewitching hour after having a horrid dream about turkeys and things that no boy should be  
dreaming about.....N*SYNC. He shuddered at the thought of the horrendous nightmare he had  
and kept plowing the others forward into the night to go find the haunting shape he had seen run  
across the grounds.  
  
"So, why are we doing this again?" Hermione said in a pissy mood. "Nobody likes being woken  
up in the middle of the night Harry"  
  
"SHUT IT HERM!" Harry and Ron both said. They turned to each other under the cloak and  
gave each other a kind of high five. They entered the forbidden forest and followed the trail for a  
ways, until....  
  
"Quiet! What was that??" Hermione said as the two boys giggled. They looked up and saw a  
dark figure move across the clearing ahead of them. It stopped in front of them and reared up  
showing off it's two arms and two legs.  
  
"Hehehehehehe!!!! I am the MAGICAL MULTI-  
CORN!!!!!!!!!Muahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!" screamed the figure standing in the darkness in  
front of our heroic gang.  
  
"What the hell is it on???"Ron muttered to Harry. He shrugged his shoulders.  
  
The mulit-corn ran at the, then stopped inches from their faces."A lovely green powder I captured  
over the black market. Nice huh?!?!?!" The it ran off in the other direction.  
  
"What the Hell was THAT?!?!" Hermione yelled  
  
"I don't have a clue in the world, but it, looked....well....rather human." Harry said  
"Yeah........." Ron said while sitting down. The other two sat down on the stump next to him.   
Suddenly they heard something moving through the branches and bushes on the other side of the  
clearing.  
  
"Help me!" said a limp figure who crawled out of them. The three hers jumped up and ran to the  
pitiful person.  
  
"Draco???"   
  
"The Multi-corn!!! The Multi-corn!!!!" The he fell over one last time in a pile of deadness.  
  
"Harry, maybe we shouldn't be out here if that crack beast can do this to a person." Ron  
commentated with a shutter for their passing enemy  
  
"Yea, but this was Draco. He wasn't very bright as it is. He was probably waling around with  
seasoning in his mouth saying, 'I want some animal to come and eat me, cause I'm a little pansy!'  
or something"  
  
"No, you're just pissed that you had a dream about a boy band" Ron said. Just then the beast  
leaped back out of the woods and into the clearing.  
  
"Why hello my little friends!" said the beast with a gay, and almost squeaky tone of voice. He had  
spikes covering his entire head and green foam coming from it's mouth. It was covered in filth.   
It looked like it had just escaped from a bog that it went for a swim in.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" They screamed and ran back towards the castle.  
  
"NO! Come back!!! I want someone to play with me!!!" The Multi-Corn said has it giggled to  
itself the sat down clutching it's knee's and rocking back and forth.. Then it leaped up like  
something took a bite out of it's ass and started prancing about the clearing giggling like a crazed  
lunatic.  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione didn't stop until they got back up to the castle. They sat around  
panting in the common room. Hermione stood up.  
  
"I'm ~pant~ going to ~pant~ make some use out ~pant~ of this panting ~pant~ time." She said  
as she walked up the stairs to the girls room. She came back down, still panting of course, with a  
bag ful of curlers.  
  
"Hermione ~pant~ your hair is ~pant bushy enough ~pant~ as it is ~pant~. Why do you ~pant~  
need to curl ~pant~ it?" Harry said winded.  
  
"I thought that maybe ~pant~ It would help give ~pant~ it figure." She said as she pulled a curler  
out and started to roll them into her hair. When she had finished she looked up at the two boys,  
who had STOPPED panting by now, I mean come on, the do get SOME exercise.  
  
"God Herm, you look like that damn Multi-corm" Ron laughed. The hot pink curlers connected  
at one part then shot strait up like many little horns all over the top of her head. Then, after a  
dramatic pause of course, all three of them looked at each other having finally figuring it all out.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The next day at Breakfast Hermione got her normal owl having the Daily Prophet she flipped to  
the obituaries section. The top of the page had a picture of Draco, which Ron ripped out and  
chewed up in his mouth. Hermione and Harry gave him a funny look and he stopped. He said it  
felt like it was the right thing to do. They scanned the rest of the page and near the bottom they  
read the excerpt near the picture of Gilderoy Lockhart.  
  
:::::::::::Gilderoy Lockhart died after what now seems to be a drug over dose. He was fond in the  
Forbidden Forrest on the Hogwarts grounds last night. He was found covered in bog muck and  
with his famous Pink curlers in his hair. He will not have a funeral due to the fact that we had to  
through his rotten corpse out since it reeked so bad.:::::::::::::::::::::  
  
The three looked up at each other and laughed their asses off until they had to go to class.  
  
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That was my sad attempt at humor. I apologize. My little sister Irish Step dances, (You know,  
Riverdance People) so she needs to curl her hair for it, and she recently got new curlers and, well,  
their pink and we call her a Multi-corn, well, I call her a multi-corn. Do you get that part...see,  
Unicorn had one horn, these have MANY, see MANY people. Ok, well, bye bye, I'm done  
talking with you now .  
  
~The Magical Midnight Gremlin 


End file.
